The Weirdest Dog Bark Ever by Rusty

Hi! It’s me! Rusty! It’s awesome that you’re here!

One of my people’s had a weird idea. We went and played in a giant (and I mean GIANT) kitty litter box! Well there was no actual box, but there was sand EVERYWHERE!

Look at it! How awesome does that look?

There were lots of tall sand hills, and if I ran to the top I could do the fastest zooms back down the hill! It was so awesome! I actually didn’t even smell a cat around, which was a relief because I am not sure how big a cat a would be that would need that much sand to poop in – but I reckon that I don’t want to find out!

I’m winning!

Anyway! Back to my zooms! I don’t have an official record of how fast I was because speed and time are a matter of perspective, but from my perspective my zooms were the awesomest ever! Even Milo agreed!

Look at Milo getting zoomy!!

There were lots of bushes and trees around the cat litter hills. We smelled some small stuff, but like I said, no cats! Thank dog! But there were birds and a boobplesnoot must’ve crossed by the night before. I smelled lots of peoples – maybe they chased all the cats away.

There was plenty of room for me to kick Milo’s butt in a dog wrestle!
I’ve been working on my war face. Is it awesome yet?

Our person took us the litter hills for like 7 days in a row. It was so awesome! I am still finding sand in places that I didn’t know it could get! How do cats deal with that all the time? Is that why they are grumpy? Anyway, it’s been a few days since we went and I am working hard on getting my paws clean still. But don’t let that you stop from visiting the sand litter hills.

The ZOOMS are totally worth it!! OH! You can dig…a lot! And wherever you want! It’s so awesome! Go visit!

There was a booplesnoot here!!

The Wildest Bark Review Yet – Dog Blog by Rusty and Milo

The Wildest Bark Review Yet by Rusty and Milo

Rogue River – Siskiyou National Forest

Hi there! Sir Rusty Fluffy Butt here.

I just pooped in there…maybe not the best photo op, okay?

Dog barks always have fences, it’s some sort of dumb human rule. But 21 days ago the peoples took us to a place that was so awesome that there are just not enough paws to rate it…but I will try.

There was no fence. None. No gate. No walls. Nada. Nothing. It was awesome! The peoples took our leashes off. We were naked and we could go wherever we wanted with nothing to stop us. It was so barking awesome!

Did you smell this? Wait, did you smell this? OMG – did you smell THIS?

Hey! Milo here! Hi! Do you have kibbles?

Okay…do I smell what I think I smell?

So, okay, did Rusty tell you about all the picnic table obstacles to jump on, and the trees, and the tall grass, and the circle to run in… Okay, I bet he really forgot the best part of the no-fence dog bark – THE WATER!

I’m doing my best Fezzik impersonation.

So, I went swimming. Okay. And then I went swimming again. And do you know what the best part was? It was when Rusty fell in!

Okay, just look at me! Cool, right?

Okay, I caught a tree-bone in the wet rover and Rusty is jealous!

Rusty back again.

Forest bark zooms are the most awesome.

As I was saying before I got interrupted by the dumb blonde…we could run wherever we wanted to, but we stayed close by because there are treats in the glove-box. I’m sure there are plenty of awesome treats in the forest, but we don’t have to work as hard for the ones from the peoples..and they have beds. There are no beds in the forest.

But there were so many trees, and rocks, and water (I didn’t fall in, I slid down all awesome-like)! There were so many awesome smells too! Squirrels, raccoons, deer, elk, bears, cats, other dogs, grass, birds, flowers, bushes, trees, water, fishes. It was the most awesome thing. Ever. If you have never been to an awesome forest dog bark, you need to go. Now.

Before I slid in all awesome-like…

Okay, listen, Milo here.

Okay, where are you going?

Rusty is missing the best parts of the dog forest bark. The racetrack. It is all paved like the sidewalks by houses, but it’s in a circle and and Rusty ain’t fast enough. So, maybe we should be nice to the OLD dogs like Rusty. They get confused at the difference between falling and “sliding” but he’s right about going. If you have never been to a forest bark you should go.

That’s the circle track right there! I’m just there sniffing myself up for the race!

Also, we met this other doggo named Sam. So, okay, Sam was a nice doggo, but he’s a bit of a show off with his fancy metal see-through doghouse and his always doing EVERYTHING his peoples said. Whatever.

He looked a lot like Max. Wait a minute…was he indognito? 

OLD guy here.

Sam (or Max) has got nothing on me!

I may be older than Milo, but I’m also smarter, cuter, fluffier, and mom loves me more…because I’m awesome. But the yellow kitten has a point. Go visit your forest bark. Stay awhile. (Take all your people stuff back home with you!)  And have some awesome fun!

Sir Rusty Fluffy Butt gives the forest barks all four paws and an awesome fluffy tail!

Okay, Milo again.

So, okay, this was the best tree-bone ever!

I give the dog forest all 4 paws and waggly tail-thump of approval. This may be the best dog bark yet.

Just look at it! So much grey!

The fluffy redhead is back...

The grey, grey grass and the black and white flowers…so awesome.

I just wanted to point out that this forest bark is rated eight paws and two tails! Best and wildest bark review yet!

Rogue River – Siskiyou National Forest

Pack it in. Pack it out.


Dog Bark Review by Rusty – Yucca Valley, CA

Dog Bark Review by Rusty – Essig City Park, Yucca Valley, CA

Okay, so it’s me, Rusty!

Okay, so our people’s took us to a new dog bark. But it wasn’t new! We had actually been there like seven years ago…or a year ago, I can’t remember. But it was still awesome!

Inside this fence is a leash-free zone!

It’s at a place called Essig Bark in Yucky Valley, CA.

Oh my god, oh my god…I haven’t smelled his butt before!

There are a couple of butt spots for the peoples, but not much shade. It’s in the dry land so it could get pretty hot there at times, okay? Be careful of your paws on the hot ground. There is a water fountain that is dog sized, and most importantly there is a lot of other dogs that want to run and play!

Okay, this dog is totally trying to copy my butt-fro.

Even Milo noticed the wanna be butt-fro and he isn’t very observant.

Okay, so I’m back there laughing my butt-fro off!

New friends are awesome! And I can always tell which ones are going to be friends with me because their butts smell the bestest.

Okay, so I need to remember when I go to dog barks that I am not a young pup anymore. I was exhausted!

This dog bark was awesome, but since there isn’t much shade, and only little trees, I am going to give this dog bark just 2 paws. But if we come back in another seven years I will see how big the trees are then and maybe I could add another paw!

Essig City Park
8300 Warren Vista Ave
Yucca Valley, CA


LL Stub Stewart Oregon State Park Dog Bark Review by Rusty

LL Stub Stewart Oregon State Park Dog Bark
Review by Rusty


Hey! It’s me, Rusty! 

Somewhere close to Porkland, Oregonegone is a camping place called LL ‘Stub’ Stewart State Bark. 

Pet Exercise Area? Exercise? Is that a fat joke?

Our people took us there to sleep for many naps. In between naps we got to go run in the dog bark!

You can see the pale sky ball from the dog park sometimes!

Awesome Hide-n-go seek at this dog bark! Can you find me?

Milo’s turn to hide! Awesome!

Peoples usually let you play longer at the dog bark when there are butt spots!

This dog bark didn’t have any toys, but it was big and there was a big hill to run up and down! Going down makes you go fast!

Look how fast I am going! It was awesome!!

Heh heh. Derp Milo.

More awesome derping!

There was also a weird knock-knocking sound – and you all know how terrifying knock-knocks can be!  Turned out to be a bird!

Have knock-knocks always been birds? Do they think it’s awesome? Not awesome, birds.

I give this dog bark a solid 3 paws! It’s just so fast and that’s awesome! Take your dogs there and they can run fast too!

Milo found an awesome treebone!

This was an awesome spot! It smelled like 4 dogs, 1 cat, and a deer. All in the same place! How awesome is that?

The people’s said it was time to take them home…what an awesome visit to the dog bark!